zondag 29 augustus 2010
I am done with being the sad lonely left behind girlfriend. Just a fact.
But anyway. I'm stabbed in the back again. Why does that always happen in times when it shouldn't? When I'm all happy I could deal with these sort off things, but in times like these I can't..
Ahh whatever, fuck them all. I'm going to focus on school, my homework and all that kind of crap. I still have other friends, who still are great. So I'll survive!! Fuck those motherfuckers.. I can live on my own. I have enough friends, I'll live.
friendships are always put to the test. guess we failed, J.
Xoxo. The Girl on Tour.
zaterdag 28 augustus 2010
Before you roll those dice, baby think twice.
I don't know it anymore. It's only 1/15 week.. and it's killing me. He's driving me nuts. He's in my mind all the time. I keep playing these old love songs, and that's killing me to. I remember a quote from westlife, yeah I know, how sad can you possibly be..
I wonder how I wonder why I wonder where they are.
The days we had, the songs we sang together.
O my love, I'm holding on forever,
I'm reaching for a love that seems so far.
I feel so weak. I'm obsessed by one person. It sucks so hard. I mean, I know it's human, but just not something for me to do, to have, to be. yeah. My english sucks to. Well. it's enough about him in my life for now. How hard can it be to forget about him for 4 months.
As long as he does remind my birthday. I know he's on a ship but he could send a cart or something.. He'll miss my 18th b'day... that's pretty messed up. Anyway..
Xoxo. The sad girl on Tour.
12:21
vrijdag 27 augustus 2010
Hey there dear bloggers.
It's been a while since my last blog. But hea, I'm still alive. So that's good news.
Don't ask for my status though. I am still together with C. Even though he is in a very far far away never never land. Yea, I do like to repeat words.
Anyway. You have those days when you just need your boyfriend. Well.. I have those days like everyday I suddenly realise. I miss him so much. He wouldn't know, but it's true. I'm like crying every night like a little girl.. And I hate to admit it. I promised myself after all those losers before C, that I'd never be depending on a guy as much as I do right now. I feel a bit useless, but it should be normal of course. But instead of realising that I really love him, it just makes me feel weak.
Anyway. Weak or not, can't wait to see him again. Hope he'll be fine for the next 4 months. If only I could tell him how much I miss him. Probably much more than he does, but that doesn't matter right..
Ah men.. This blog sucks. I feel such a loser, like a cry baby or something. Yeah. Gonna go. Bye.
Xoxo. The girl on tour
23:22
maandag 2 augustus 2010
Hey there bloggers.
You know those moments when you got so much to say but just because you have no idea where to start, you just don't say a thing at all? I know I do. And I hate it. People know when I'm upset, but I keep telling them that I'm fine. Of course they stop asking, but deep within.. I'm self-destructing.
I really gotta learn how to deal with this sort of stuff. because it's tearing me apart. It's the same with trusting someone. I can't trust anymore. I trusted people way to much. It never took me anywhere else then roads full of misery, pain and destruction. How can I ever trust someone again when I'm terrified all the time that the same things will happen to me again?
I know the people I love right now won't let me down, but there's always this voice within, whispering: "what if.." It's not healthy! Sometimes I feel like I've got two personalities. The one who wants to believe again, and the one who is terrified to actually believe.
I'm stuck in wonderland.
Curiouser and Curiouser. Curiouser and Curiouser.
Xoxo. The girl on tour
23:57
zondag 1 augustus 2010
Hey there bloggers.
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now.
I'm not me anymore. I need a wish.
Xoxo. The girl on tour
11:58
